1Sam 2:12-17
The Greatest Failure
Yet once again, we are meeting on a week of another mass shooting. As
you all know, a young man went into a church is South Carolina and
killed 9 people. The whole world will speculate on the causes and I
am certain that they are many, but I will throw one possible reason
into the pot. Some where in the list of reasons I would say that the
home had some failures. I am not trying to lay blame. The parents
may have done all they could have done, but even if they did, the
home failed. I do not say this to judge. My only goal is to show
the importance of the home and to help those gathered in this church
to be the best they can be for the Lord. Today being Father’s Day,
let us direct our attention to fathers.
What might be a fathers’ greatest failure? What does God expect of a
father? Look with me at the life of Eli.
Eli was the priest, prophet, and judge over Israel in these days. The
Scriptures reveal him to be a good and godly man. He ministered
faithfully; he judged Israel righteously, and he stood by the Word
constantly.
Eli was a perfect man before God in every area of his life except one
- his sons, Hophni and Phinehas. These two men were wicked and
used their position to profit and abuse the people.
\\#14-15\\ They took the best of the offerings.
\\#16\\ They extorted by use of force if necessary.
\\#22\\ They lay with the woman who either served or gathered at
the temple.
The world has various standards for measuring a preacher. Some
measure by his charisma, others by popularity, a few by his message.
I judge my own ministry by three standards.
1. My testimony - life and character
2. My doctrinal accuracy in the Word
3. My family
Apparently, all that Eli ever did to these men was lightly rebuke
them.
1Sam 2:23 And he said unto them, Why do ye such
things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all
this people.
24 Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that
I hear: ye make the LORD’S people to transgress.
25 If one man sin against another, the judge
shall judge him: but if a man sin against the
LORD, who shall intreat for him? Notwithstanding
they hearkened not unto the voice of their
father, because the LORD would slay them.
That wasn’t enough so God rebuked Eli \\#2:27-36\\ and prophesies
his family’s removal from service. A sin of Eli’s is mentioned
\\#2:29\\ and a principal is given \\#30\\.
In calling Samuel to take Eli’s place, God made it clear that He
expected Eli to stop his sons from their wicked behavior
\\#1Sam 3:13\\. Because he did not, God brought all of the judgments
which He had promised upon Eli. \\#1Sam 4:10-11, 15-18\\.
Catch the significance of what we have read. Eli appeared to be a
perfect man in every area of his life but one. Men, it does not
matter how successful you are in your career; if you fail at home,
you fail.
I. Fatherhood is a life-long commitment.
A. A father is not just one who performs the duties of a
biological donor.
1. Fatherhood is a commitment, a relationship, and a
responsibility.
a. Fathers do not bring children into this world and then
leave!
b. Fathers do not bring children into this world then
ignore them.
2. Fatherhood is a job that requires a life-long commitment.
B. Consider parenting to be a job—the most important job you
will ever hold.
1. To get an important job, you must have certain
credentials.
2. What are the credentials to be a father?
a. The ability to maintain a relationship.
(1) If you have never had a good relationship with
others, you do not qualify to be a father.
(2) What kind of relationships?
(a) A relationship with parents
i. Too many want to excuse the
relationship they have with their
parents.
ii. I know not all parents are good parents.
In fact, some are completely the
opposite.
iii. However, no matter how good or how bad
your parents were, you have to have
some kind of relationship with them.
iv. And there is one thing your parents and
your children are always going to have
in common—you don’t get to pick them.
v. How do you get along with the people in
your life you don’t pick out?
(b) A relationship with a wife
i. Again, people offer a lot excuses for
not being able to get along with their
wife (wives, girl friends).
ii. Here is the thing about your women. You
are picking them.
iii. If there is a problem with the women
you are picking then the problem is
not with your women but with the
picker.
iv. Maybe it is the type of women you find
attractive. Maybe it is where you are
looking. Maybe it is just you bring
out the worst in them.
v. Whatever it is, you need to find and
fix that problem before you are ready
for fatherhood.
b. The ability to fulfill your commitments.
(1) Life is a series of responsibilities.
(2) How many are you fulfilling?
a. Did you finish school?
b. Have you kept a job?
c. Do you have a good marriage?
(3) Fatherhood will NOT be your first successful
relationship in life!
a. Simply put, it is too hard and requires too
much sacrifice.
b. If you can’t get along with anyone else and
have not successfully completed any other
task, please, keep your biological donations
to yourself.
c. Relationships with parents and a wife are
tough, but they are nothing compared with
the difficulty in raising a child.
c. I have deliberately skipped what I think to be one of the
first and most important credentials of any potential
father, the relationship with God.
(1) Before a man becomes a father, he should first
make a commitment to God and then keep a
relationship with God.
(2) Children are not just bodies and minds. They
are eternal souls.
(3) Only someone who knows God can direct another to
God.
(4) Potential dad, your walk with God should have
had three steps:
(a) A commitment that begin with salvation.
(b) A relationship which included total
surrender.
(c) A responsibility that accepted God’s
service.
II. Eli did all of this but still he failed as a father. Where did
Eli go wrong?
A. Eli forgot his first duty.
1. Did you know it is a pre-requisite that a preacher have
a godly family?
1Tim 3:1 This is a true saying, If a man desire
the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband
of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour,
given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of
filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not
covetous;
4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his
children in subjection with all gravity;
5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own
house, how shall he take care of the church of
God?)
2. If God puts a priority on a preacher having a home that
seeks after Him, don’t you think he puts it on all homes?
B. Eli committed three sins:
1. \\#1Sam 2:29\\ He honored his kids above God.
a. That means that Eli did what pleased them rather than
what pleased God.
(1) No parent ever does a child a favor by letting
him break God’s commandments.
(2) No parent ever does a child a favor by letting
him disrespect God.
(3) No parent ever does a child a favor by taking the
child’s side over God.
(4) No parent ever does a child a favor by taking the
child’s side over any authority—even if the
authority is wrong.
b. Because that child is going to have to live under
authority all of his life and then stand before
God and God will not change.
(1) The world has convinced themselves that there is
no God or that He does not care. They are
wrong on both accounts and standing before Him
is going to be an most unpleasant experience!
(2) Man’s abilities have increased to the extent that
we are doing worse things today than any other
generation before us. That is not surprising.
considering the judgment that we are building up
to.
c. What is a parent to do? A parent is to tell their
children what is right and what is wrong and then do
whatever they can to keep them on the side of right!
(1) I am afraid that in these evil days, some good
parents will not be able to keep their children
on the right side.
(2) The devil’s power is growing and a lot of that is
what we are exposing our children to today.
(a) Television, music, games, images
(b) Public schools and even some Christians
schools and churches are a mix of the
sorriest and the spiritual.
2. Eli failed to put up boundaries.
a. We all need boundaries.
(1) A boundary is a definition of what is right and
wrong.
(2) (Work is all right; stealing is wrong.
Marriage is all right, adultery is wrong.
Compliments are all right, flattery is
wrong. Eating is all right, gluttony is wrong.)
b. Consequences are praise and promotion when we do right,
correction and discipline when we do wrong.
(Hophni and Phinehas were way past the light rebuke
stage. They were in the removal from office and
being stoned to death stage!)
3. Eli failed to enforce his own rules and words.
a. I was reminded again this week of the vanity of
barking out instructions with no consequences.
b. If an instruction is not worth backing up, it is not
worth giving.
c. Parents, be careful what you tell your children to do
and be double careful what you tell them you will do
if they don’t do it.
d. Make both your instructions and your repercussions
godly and loving, then enforce the boundaries you set
up.
C. Eli stood before God’s judgment for his failure as a father!
1. Dads, we may or may not be successful as fathers. The end
result is up to God.
2. However, if we do not try to do things God’s way, we will
stand before God guilty and, in my mind, even worse, our
children will likely belong to the devil.
3. Eli paid with his life and the souls of his children.
People are asking, "What’s wrong with our children today? They don’t
want to work; they have no respect for authority; they are sex-crazed
and violent. What’s wrong with our children?" I say, "The question is
not just what is wrong with the children. It is what is wrong with
our dads?"
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