Proverbs 31:10-12
The Heroine of the Story
In the Hebrew, the word virtuous means valor and strength. It is used
228 times in the Old Testament. Most often, it refers to an army
which has proven itself to be powerful or victorious. Yet here, the
word is applied to a woman? Why? Because the woman in the family is
the heroine of the story.
This verse is literally saying, "Who can find a powerful and
victorious woman? for her price is far above rubies, The heart of
her husband doeth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need
of spoil."
If you are a woman and have not read Proverbs 31, you have missed a
great and challenging chapter written just for you. In this chapter,
God calls upon all women to reach beyond themselves and to become, as
the United States Army used to challenge their potential recruits,
"all you can be."
This chapter is such a challenge that I have heard of some women who
became discouraged after reading it. Some read what God desires all
women to be and, realizing they had not arrived, wanted to give up.
Let me tell every lady and man here today that God is NOT
disappointed with what you are and He never will be, as long as you
have not quit working to become what He made you to be. All of us
come up short. All of us.
As there are too many points in this chapter for me to even begin to
mention, let me point you into the categories in which God wants to
challenge you.
I. The Character Category
A. God spend more time on this category than all of the others
combined.
1. Why?
2. Because having the right kind of character is the
foundation for being everything that God wants us to be.
B. Note some of the verses that deal with the god-like woman’s
character.
1. She works.
Proverbs 31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and
worketh willingly with her hands.
2. She feeds her family.
Proverbs 31:14 …she bringeth her food from afar.
a. Good news to the ladies who cannot cook.
(1) This verse does not demand that you cook.
(2) It says you bring it from a far place.
(3) That sounds like take out to me!
b. But seriously, the god-like woman is able to provide
food for her family.
3. She has business sense.
Proverbs 31:16 She considereth a field, and
buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she
planteth a vineyard.
a. The Bible has never relegated women to the ki9tchen.
b. In that day, it was the man’s role to purchase and
care for the fields, but this verse has the woman
being the one who purchases and then plows and plants
and produces to provide for her family.
c. Why? Because God did not make women stupid and does
not want them to be treated as if they were.
d. However ladies, neither does God want you to fulfill
the role of the man to the neglect of the role He has
given to you.
4. She is strong.
Proverbs 31:17 She girdeth her loins with
strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
a. This verse is speaking of physically strong, but God
desires the god-like woman to be strong in more ways
than with muscles.
b. She should be strong in faith, strong emotionally,
strong in her family, and then strong physically.
c. One of the most important areas to help women to
become strong in today is emotionally.
(1) Too many people, men and women, have been hurt
and scared emotionally.
(2) The good news that Jesus Christ can realign and
rebalance your heart.
5. She has compassion.
Proverbs 30:20 She stretcheth out her hand to
the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to
the needy.
a. Men often chide with the woman’s way of thinking,
saying it is not logical—and most of the time it
isn’t.
b. Most of the time the woman things with her heart first
and her head second.
c. Why? Because He made the man to think with his head
first and his heart second and man needed a counter-
balance.
d. Ladies, do not be ashamed of a tender, caring heart
and do not give it away!
C. These are but a few of the characteristics of character that
God mentions in this chapter.
1. Ladies and gentlemen, God wants us all to have a
righteous character,
2. Sadly, a righteous character is what the majority of
people are missing today. And we are hurting for it!
a. Even God has a difficult time using a person with no
righteous character.
b. How is God going to use a liar, a thief, a lazy
person, or one with no self-control.
3. But not only does God have a difficult time with people
without character, other people have a hard time with
them.
a. People without character make lousy human beings to
each other too.
b. Who wants to come along side of an angry, wrathful
person? a selfish person? an irresponsible person?
c. Let me tell you. NO BODY.
(1) Nobody wants to be married to you.
(2) Nobody wants to work with you.
(3) Nobody wants to live beside.
(4) Nobody wants you for a parent or for a child.
d. That may be tough to hear but it is true.
D. One of the reasons God starts by discussing a person’s
character is because until you develop a righteous character,
you are not fit to be another person’s husband or wife.
1. I often say that a person needs to be able to stand alone
before he/she attempts to stand alongside of another.
2. If you cannot control yourself, how will you make life
enjoyable for another?
II. The Household Category
A. Three different times in this chapter, the Lord speaks of
caring for a household.
Proverbs 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet
night, and giveth meat to her household, and a
portion to her maidens.
Proverbs 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow
for her household: for all her household are
clothed with scarlet.
Proverbs 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of
her household, and eateth not the bread of
idleness.
1. Why?
2. Because from birth, we are part of a household.
3. The thought of a household is family.
4. As you learn to stand alone, you must also learn to care
for others.
B. May I remind you that not every woman will be a mother and not
every woman will be a wife, but every woman will come from
and belong to a household?
1. Everybody should have family.
2. In a sin-torn world, that may not always be true.
C. If you do have a family…
1. Learn how to get along with them.
2. Learn how to love them.
3. Learn how to care for them.
D. If you honestly don’t have any family, adopt one.
1. Blood may be thicker than water but water is thicker than
nothing.
2. There are too many people in this world who are alone for
those who are saved to stay alone.
3. Find someone to care for.
III. The Marriage Category
A. Twice in this chapter, God spoke of marriage.
Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth
safely trust in her, so that he shall have no
need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the
days of her life.
Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the
gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the
land.
B. These three verses tell us three traits of the god-like wife.
1. \\#11\\ She is faithful to her husband.
a. Faithfulness is a character trait learned before
marriage and it is to be practiced for life.
b. Wives, you may have been deceived and married a poor
example of a man, but that is not excuse for you
becoming a poor example of a woman.
2. \\#12\\ She is good not evil.
a. To remove the evil is to remove malice.
b. Malice shows itself in three ways:
(1) It wants to hurt everyone.
(2) It wants revenge those who wronged them.
(3) It wants justice even with loved ones.
c. Ditch malice. Be the heroine.
3. \\#13\\ She is helpful.
a. Believe it or not, the woman was created to help the
man.
b. That is what makes the woman the heroine. She
sacrifices herself to help her husband.
c. Now, what would be perfect is if every marriage had
both a hero and a heroine.
(1) Two people sacrifices themselves for the other.
(2) But for marriage to work, at least one person
must be willing to make sacrifices.
(3) Ladies, the god-like woman is willing to help
her husband.
IV. The Divine Category
Proverbs 30:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty
is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she
shall be praised.
A. The debate has raged for centuries does God really want us to
fear Him or to respect Him.
B. My views change as I grow older but I believe I is both.
1. I believe first we need to have some knee-knocking fear of
God.
a. Fear that reminds us He is the omnipotent, just, holy
God.
b. I see today what happens—even to Christians—who have
never developed a knee-knocking fear of God.
c. They become compromising Christians.
2. Then, after we get to fear God, I think we are to learn
to respect God.
C. I am not certain we will ever respect God as we should if we
do not first learn to fear God as we ought.
Ladies, God is teaching you in this chapter how to be the strong and
victorious woman. May God give you the wisdom to listen.
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