1 Samuel 2:12-17
What Does It Take to Be A Good Parent?
This account is of Eli’s sons. If I mention the name of Eli, most
would think of a man who was a godly judge over Israel. Indeed, a
good man, a faithful man. Yet, the Bible calls his sons "sons of the
devil," and gives an example of why. They disregarded God’s laws of
the sacrifice and used force to take what they wanted. Their
corruption caused good people to dispiease worshipping the Lord. And
that was just the tip of the iceburg. So we have a situation where
a very godly man produced very ungodly children.
I hope I do not tell you anything you do not know when I say that
America has lost her children. America is not losing a generation of
children. America has lost a generation of children. Indeed, we have
lost several generations of children.
It is Father’s Day, and we want to honor our fathers; but at the same
time, I want to help fathers. So fathers and mothers, I pray that
you will listen to the word that I believe God has given to us this
morning.
I. Let me start out by telling you what is not sufficient.
A. I do not believe that religion is sufficient to be a good
parent.
B. I do not believe that having a good church is sufficient to be
a good parent.
C. I do not believe that having a Bible in your home is
sufficient to be a good parent.
D. I do not believe that being in God’s service is sufficient to
be a good parent.
1. Eli was a judge, a great and godly judge, over Israel, but
his sons were exceedingly wicked.
2. Serving God was not enough.
E. I do not believe that seeing others fail is sufficient to be a
good parent.
1. Samuel knew what happened to Eli.
2. As a very young child, he was placed in Eli’s home so he
was there and saw the kinds of sons that Eli had.
3. God selected Samuel to be Eli’s replacement.
4. Yet, Samuel also lost ALL of his sons to sin.
1Samuel 8:3 And his sons walked not in his ways,
but turned aside after lucre, and took bribes,
and perverted judgment.
F. I do not believe that having a warning from God is sufficient
to be a good parent.
1. Eli had several warnings from God.
2. It did not help.
3. He still lost his children to sin.
G. I do not believe that love is sufficient to be a good parent.
II. What does it take?
A. It takes WISDOM.
1. Wisdom is the ability to see things as God sees it.
2. America has lost the ability to see as God sees.
3. For the last 60 years, America has experimented with our
people.
a. I am not talking about drug experiment, a medical or
psychological experiment, or a DNA experiement.
b. I am talking about behavior experiments. They have
and are doing behavior experiments on our children.
4. Some 60 to 70 years ago, our educators and leaders told
America to throw away their Bible and to raise chldren
the way they thought best.
a. That experiment is called humanism.
b. It is human beings telling human beings what is best
for human beings.
5. The experiments are total and colossal failures.
a. Almost immediately, drug abuse rose. 50 years ago,
we started the war on drugs. We lost that war.
b. Gradually violence rose. Today we have metal
detectors, guards, and there is talk of arming our
teachers.
c. Today we have an astonishing and rising suicide rate.
6. How are our children better today?
a. They are not smarter.
b. They do not have better social skills.
c. They are not happier, do not have better habits, and
do not build better homes.
d. They are not more sucessful. In fact, for the first
time in American history, the expectations for the
children’s wealth and happiness is dropping from that
of the parents.
7. Yet, for all the evidence, parents—including Christian
parents—will not turn from the tenants of humanism
to the Bible.
8. What are the tenants of humanism? Just so you will
recognize it, I will give you three.
a. Humanists won’t discipline children. They call
misbehavior a phase and expects that the child will
learn better behaviors in time.
b. Humanists won’t teach their children personal
responsiblity.
(1) They will not teach self control, self
accountablity, or self sacrifice.
(2) They say that parents just need to love their
children as if loving your children means
letting them do whatever they wants.
c. Parents won’t teach absolutes.
(1) Everything is relative and it just depends
on what the circumstances are.
(2) What are the circumstances? The circumstances
are if you want to do something bad, it is no
longer bad.
9. Parents, we need to return to God and wisdom.
B. It takes STANDARDS.
1. The word "standards" or its twin, "convictions," is a bad
word in most Christian circles today.
2. What are standards or convictions?
a. Think of them as walls of behavior that you will not
cross.
b. It is not that you CAN’T cross them. It is that you
WON’T cross them.
c. Most everyone has them. If a person does not, he is a
psychopath and very dangerous.
d. In everyday life, thankfully…
(1) Most people won’t just kill someone.
(2) Many people won’t just take something.
(3) A few people won’t just be mean to you.
3. What kind of convictions do you have BECAUSE of God’s
Word?
a. If we let our children…
live with the world…
run with the world…
think like the world…
behave like the world…
then they are the world.
1 John 2:15 Love not the world, neither the
things that are in the world. If any man love
the world, the love of the Father is not in
him.
b. When talking about convictions today, ee are not just
talking about clothing, music, and hair styles.
c. We are talking about America’s seven deadly sins:
(1) Evolution
(2) Marriage
(3) Sex outside of marriage
(4) Abortion
(5) Homesexuality
(6) Socalism and Communism
(7) Euthanasia
d. I wish the only convictions we needed to talk about
were men looking like men, women looking like women
and the beat of music, but those days are long past.
e. We are talking about the essential, basic beliefs of
the Bible and of our country!
f. We cannot count on schools,the laws of the land, or
religion to help build the correct walls of behavior.
g. Parents must do it! How?
(1) We teach them.
(a) Where do we get our conviction?
i. From the Bible.
ii. What part of the Bible? All of it!
Deut 6:4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one
LORD:
(b) To the Jews, verse 4 is one of the most
important potions of Scripture.
i. It is called the Shema.
ii. It is John 3;16 to the Jews.
iii. Most every Jew knows it and can quote
it.
iv. It is the first Bible verse taught.
v. For the devout, it will be the last
words spoken at night.
(c) Notice the command God given immediately
after this most important Old Testament
Bible verse.
Deut 6:6 And these words, which I command thee
this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy
children, and shalt talk of them when thou
sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by
the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou
risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine
hand, and they shall be as frontlets between
thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of
thy house, and on thy gates.
(d) God commanded the parents to teach their
children ALL of the COMMANDS of God.
i. Why?
ii. Because those commands are to be their
standards of behavior.
iii. They are to define how they think,
what they think about, what they
believe, and how they will behave!
(e) Why do you think one of the first things the
anti-God forces within this country did was
to remove the Word of God and God from our
public schools?
i. They did not and do not want this Book
to shape and influence the way
children think, what they believe, or
how they behave.
ii. Friend, when they took the Bible
away from our children, the fate of
our country was determined.
iii. The only question was, "How long was
it going to take until it happened?"
(2) We model them.
(a) The things that we don’t want our children
to do, need to be our convictions.
i. If you don’t want your kids to kill,
you don’t kill.
ii. If you don’t want your kids to lie,
you don’t lie.
iii. If you don’t them to do drugs, have
adulterers, or turn away from God,
then we don’t do those things.
(b) The things that we want our children to do
also need to be our convictions.
i. Love and obey God.
ii. Go to church, read the Bible,
iii. Work hard, be kind, be gentle.
C. It takes discipline.
1. Society says don’t, but God says do.
2. Verses:
Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth
his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him
betimes.
Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart
of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive
it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the
child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he
shall not die.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom:
but a child left to himself bringeth his mother
to shame.
3. In this world, I hesitate to talk about discipling of
children because many us have never learned how to
discipline children
a. Spanking is not the first line of correction. it is
the last.
(1) Talking with a child.
(2) Teaching a child.
(3) Praying with a child.
(4) Isolating a child.
(5) Grounding a child.
(6) Positive reinforcements for a child.
(7) These are all great and first disciplines for a
child.
b. But most every child is going to take some loving
spankings.
c. And a few children are going to need some tough
spankings.
D. It takes love.
1. I’ve said that love is not sufficient, and by itself, it
is not.
a. Many loved children go extremely wrong.
b. But nothing else will work if love, much love, is not
also included.
2. Not only must a child be loved, but the child must know
that he or she is loved.
3. Contrary to the world’s view, love does not make us blind
or stop us from discipling our children.
4. Love opens our eyes and forces us to do whatever is
necessary to insure that our children turn out as good,
godly, and productive citizens on this earth and
righteous children of God in heaven.
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