2Sam 13:38-14:28
The Problems with Two
We continue to look at the life of David tonight. We have been studying the
returns David drew on his investment of sin. Out of his own mouth, it will be
fourfold; that is, four things will happen to him as a result of what he did
with Bathsheba.
1. Baby died.
2. Tamar was raped by Amnon.
3. Amnon was killed by Absalom.
4. The adult life of Abaslom
Let’s look at this text by looking at sets of two.
I. \\2Sam 13:38-39\\ Absalom had two countries.
A. It was not uncommon during the days of kings for alliances to be
forged through marriage.
1. This was forbidden by God.
Deut 7:1 When the LORD thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou
goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites,
and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites,
and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou;
2 And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them,
and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy
unto them:
3 Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not
give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.
4 For they will turn away thy son from following me….
2. Apparently, this is what David did with Absalom’s mother.
2 Samuel 3:3 And his second, Chileab, of Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite;
and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur;
a. Geshur was a small kingdom on Israel’s northern boundary with
Syria.
b. I don’t know that Geshur ever posed that much of a military
threat to Israel, but a marriage alliance was made anyway.
c. This was sinful and wrong.
3. It always amazes me how quickly we depart from the Word of God!
a. David was only Israel’s second king and he was doing something
that he have must know was wrong.
b. Solomon will be the first king to introduce idolatry to Israel.
4. I know people are only human and that we all make mistakes, but
these are some of God’s best and they seem to sometimes take some
pretty drastic turns to the wrong!
5. To do wrong deliberately is the worst kind of wrong to do.
B. All of this makes Absalom a man with two countries.
1. This made Absalom the son of the king of Israel and the grandson of
the king of Geshur.
2. In that, Absalom pictures us; for we also have two worlds to live
in.
a. Israel would picture God’s country, the place where we are
supposed to do right.
b. Geshur would picture the world, the place where anything goes.
c. When living in God’s country got too tough, Absalom just moved
to Geshur. He went to the world.
d. Isn’t that just like us?
C. Having two countries gives one too many options.
1. It was too many for Absalom.
a. I doubt that Absalom would have killed Amnon if he had not
had a second home to go to.
b. Absalom was treated like a prince in both countries.
c. He could sin and retreat to the Geshur and no fear of
reprisals.
d. Geshur was his safe haven.
2. It is too many for us too; yet, that is how some Christians live.
a. They keep their Christian friends close, but they keep their
worldly friends closer.
b. Jesus actually told His half-hearted followers to do that!
Luke 16:9 And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of
unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting
habitations.
(1) If you don’t get this verse, it’s because Jesus was being
sarcastic.
(2) The word FAIL means QUIT or LEAVE.
(3) If you are planning on quitting God, you had better keep
your alternatives open.
(4) Those who plan on QUITTING will. Something will always
come up.
D. If we are serious about living for Jesus, we need to burn some bridges
with the world.
1. That doesn’t mean we have to make enemies out of friends.
2. It does mean we have to live a sold-out life for Jesus!
a. Love Jesus above all else.
b. Tell others about Him.
c. Keep yourself pure.
3. You say, "What happens if I start living so boldly and fail?"
4. Don’t.
II. Joab had two natures.
A. We have seen Joab several times as we have discussed the life of David.
1. I mentioned him just last week as the kind of friend we DON’T
need.
2. Joab was one who would do wrong if you asked him to do so.
a. That’s like keeping a vial of poison in the medicine cabinet.
b. Just by keeping it, you are acknowledging that there might
come a day and a situation when you will use it.
c. We don’t need those kind of friends!
3. But one of the difficulties in separating ourselves from those
kinds of friends is that every once in a while, they will
surprise us.
B. \\#2Sam 14:1-2\\ Joab’s concern surprises me.
1. Joab knew that David missed his son and wanted him to come back
home.
2Sam 13:37 …And David mourned for his son every day.
2Sam 13:39 …for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.
2. So Joab took it upon himself to try to make David see the "error"
of his ways.
3. Who would have thought this man who killed for a living, flat out
murdered two men, and helped David betray and kill a friend and
fellow soldier would have a soft heart?
a. Perhaps it wasn’t really a soft heart.
b. Perhaps Joab felt David’s distraction wasn’t good for the army.
c. Perhaps this was just another selfish attempt of Joab to make
things as good for himself as they could be.
d. But what I find interesting is that even hardened people have
their standards of right and wrong, good and evil.
(1) I’m sure that Bin Laden, Hitler, Jeffery Dahmer, Saddam
Hussein, and every other person has a line they
themselves won’t cross over.
(2) I was working some years ago with a group of Christians
whose standards of separation were not as far to the
right as mine; but I learned that even though that was
the case, they were quicker to condemn some behaviors
and harder on those that committed them than I would
have been.
4. Knowing that everyone has their own standard of right or wrong,
we have to ask ourselves, "Whose standards should we follow?"
a. The answer is, "Follow God’s."
b. If God says something is right or wrong, go with Him.
c. If God doesn’t say, use the Bible to determine what you think
God would have you to do, and stick with that.
d. If we are going to use man’s standards, there will always be
someone who has a standard that will let you do whatever you
really want to do.
C. Joab’s theology surprises me.
1. \\#2Sam 14:3\\ …So Joab put the words in her mouth.
a. Joab is going to tell this woman what to say.
b. Beats me where you would find a woman who would be willing to
help pull this kind of deception on a king!
2. After the woman had told her story, gotten a ruling of mercy from
David, and was making her application to David’s life, she said….
2Sam 14:14 For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which
cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he
devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.
a. In the first part of the verse, she spoke of the brevity of
life.
b. However, in talking about God, she says that GOD DEVISES MEANS
THAT HIS BANISHED BE NOT EXPELLED FROM HIM.
c. These are Joab’s words and they point out that he understood
how hard God works to reconcile sinners to Himself!
d. Most modern-day Christians don’t get the concept of God’s grace
in the Old Testament, but they did.
III. David had two hearts.
A. It looks like David is torn between whether to give Absalom mercy or
to give him justice.
1. Mercy is to forgive him of what he had done to the family and of
the crime he had committed.
2. Justice would be to execute him.
a. It seems he had ruled full justice out from the first, but he
must have felt something still needed to be done.
b. So perhaps keeping Absalom at bay was his method of "punishing"
him.
B. So it looks like David does a little bit of both and a whole lot
of neither.
1.David sent for Absalom, allowed him to come home, but would not see
him.
2Sam 14:21 And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go
therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.
24 And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face.
So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.
28 So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king’s face.
2. At best, this was a half-hearted forgiveness.
C. Several thoughts:
1. Half-hearted forgiveness is no forgiveness at all.
a. We have to learn that we either forgive a person or we don’t.
b. Some of the elements of forgiveness are:
(1) Forgetfulness - You must quit dwelling on the wrong if
have forgiven a person.
(2) No punishment - Dealing with people who have wronged you
is usually a balancing act.
(a) You have to be wise enough to know if they have hurt
you once, they might do it again.
(b) That means you put up some sensible boundaries.
i. Sex offenders are not left alone with children.
ii. Arsonists don’t need matches.
iii. Thieves shouldn’t be the church treasurer.
(c) But at the same time, punishment is done away with.
(3) No barriers of theheart - Still, you treat the person
with an openness and a vulnerably which will allow your
heart to be broken again.
c. David did NOT forgive Abaslom and so Absalom did NOT forgive
his father.
(1) As far as Absalom was concerned, David had done as much
wrong as he had.
(2) No doubt, Absalom was both self-righteous and judgmental.
(3) But he was also right.
(a) David was guilty of sexual sins and had killed Uriah.
(b) Yet, as far as Absalom could see, he hadn’t suffered
much.
(c) To Absalom, Amnon deserved to die for what he had
done and, as far as Absalom could see, all he did
was to execute a guilty man.
(d) It is a shame but a little honest communication
between these two might have healed a lot of hurt.
(e) By the way, it might not hurt some of us in our half-
hearted relationships too.
2. Half-hearted forgiveness fosters rebellion and hatred.
a. David is not helping the relationship with his son. He is
ruining it.
b. We are not studying the life of Absalom and the Bible does
not give us the details of how he became the man he will
become, but David’s way of fathering his children was not
helping. It is hurting.
(1) Remember when he did nothing to Amnon and so Absalom
decided to take care of him?
(2) Now, he is stoking the fire of anger and bitterness again.
c. Before it is over, Absalom will hate his father so much that
he will attempt to kill him.
Life is tough. We all make mistakes, but what we are doing by looking at the life
of David is trying to learn from his mistakes. Seeing what he did wrong, we can
either sit back and condemn him, or we can be sure we don’t repeat his mistakes.
Are you a Christian with two countries?
Are you a Christian with two natures?
Are you a Christian with two hearts?
Remember:
James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
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